Wedding Dress Blues

It’s June and someone recently asked me what I thought of wedding dresses. You know, those overpriced confections that are the stuff of little girls’ dreams. The frothy, silky, trussed-up lacy things that make otherwise sensible women submit to a year of fad diets, painful sessions with personal trainers, as well as dermabrasion, waxing, boob jobs and other forms of contemporary beauty torture.

As a bride who chose not to wear traditional bridal finery, I never gave them much thought. They were fine for other women, but not for me. I think that the most important part of the wedding is the vow to love and care for one another.

Here are some of my issues with wedding dresses:

Cost: the average wedding dress costs $800-1,500; the average designer wedding dress is $3,000. Can you say mortgage payment? I’d rather keep the roof over my head than shell out for a dress that I’ll only wear once. Besides, today’s divorce statistics say that the wedding dress will become an unpleasant memory for half of all brides.

Lack of subtlety: you can’t slip quietly into a room wearing it; too much rustling and swishing.

Vulnerability: traditional ivory/white dresses are targets for a red wine spill. And when that happens, how many folks will grab their dinner napkins, race to the bar for bottles of seltzer and help a sista out?

Last week I read an article in Newsweek that came late to the fact that modern brides are forgoing frilly, virginal dresses in favor of modern designs that don’t subscribe to the notion of the princess bride. Women are choosing lacy minis, sleek column dresses, and tailored pantsuits. This isn't news - Bianca Jagger wore a white YSL pantsuit when she married Mick in 1971. And although the marriage didn’t work out she made a strong statement for individuality.

Consider this - in some Asian cultures red is a traditional bridal color. It is thought to bring good luck, joy and happiness. What a great way to be unique! And, isn't that what every bride wants?