Gimme A Head With Hair

I wanted something different after sixteen years of a TWA (teeny weeny afro)--different but low maintenance. I wanted to let my hair grow out a little, but dreaded the über ugly growing-out period. Every woman has experienced those hair-raising weeks during which you make comparisons of yourself to Buckwheat, Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, or Phil Spector in any of his jacked-up wigs.

So, I talked to my fabulously cool barber about a growing-out plan that would prevent frump and horror. Here’s the result--my first fro-hawk! This is the coolest haircut ever. It works with my style and speaks to my inner rock chick.

A Natural Woman

Melissa at the gym

This post is the first in a series on love affairs between Black women and their natural hair.  Meet Melissa, one of my workout buddies.

Melissa first went natural right after graduating from college in 1986.  “People thought I was disappointed about life after college, but I just didn’t do hair.”  Her sorority sisters kept her hair looking sharp while she was an undergrad. One made her hair swing with chemical relaxers, another was a wizard with scissors, a blow dryer and curling irons. 

When Melissa returned to her southern home town after college her mother said, “She done went to the white people’s school and lost her mind.”  Mom added, “We don’t want to look at your nappy head, you know white people don’t want to look at it either!”  Eventually she caved in to family pressure and straightened her hair.  Melissa then landed a job at a hotel and returned to chemical relaxers.  I’d bet that her co-workers and customers relaxed because she didn’t look like a revolutionary waiting to be televised.

She’s locking her hair now, and describes it is an individual journey with heaps of self-love. It’s a warm relationship between a woman, her hair, and her self-image.  As Melissa will tell you, “You can’t get away from yourself.” 

She admires Nina Simone and Maya Angelou with their striking African features and stunning natural style.  She talks about seeing black as a color of power, and how we need to reorient ourselves to that idea.  (Just think about judges wearing black robes.)  Black is also the color of elegance. (Just think of the LBD.)

Melissa wraps up our conversation about hair by saying, “Originally I cut it because I didn’t want to do anything [to it] but now thirty years later I have to decide what to do with it!”  Sounds like a fabulous challenge!

Skipping the salon also has a nice wallet fattening quality. She laughs and says, “I keep that $110 in my pocket.”

And The Real Winner Is….

Viola Davis

Viola Davis is fierce. No discussion.  No dispute.  No doubt.  For the 2012 Academy Awards she took the extraordinary step of going for the glam while leaving the wig at home.  Ms. Davis was stunningly genuine.  She rocked her natural hair, looking vital, youthful, and incredibly gorgeous in the process.

She ignored the ridiculous beauty standard that prods black women to glue and sew hair they bought onto their scalps, damaging their natural locks in the process.  When are we going to reject a foreign beauty standard that is completely irrelevant to us?  When will we embrace our unique and often breathtaking beauty?  We don’t need lace front wigs to be pretty!

Celebrities are now the standard bearers for style and behavior, taking over the role that was traditionally our mothers’, aunties’, and grandmothers’.  So we need to see more Viola Davises strutting the red carpet wearing glorious Afros of every circumference, locs, springy coils and twists, and intricately-designed cornrows that rival aerial views of Midwestern farms.

Yes, black women are naturally beautiful.  There should be no further questions.  Thank you, Ms. Davis for making that statement.

Cover Your Tracks

“Now arriving on Track 1, Section B is the scheduled 6:27 express to…”  I hear that announcement whenever I’m standing behind a sista with exposed weave tracks. Casual Friday followers know that I’m anti-weave so today’s post should not be a shocker.

Sistas!  If you choose the weave PLEASE check your entire head before leaving the house.  Right after you apply the Pretty Girl cosmetics and run your tongue over your teeth to remove lipstick smudges, grab a hand mirror, hold it to the back of your head, and turn your back to the door of the medicine chest.  Shine a really bright light on to your head and fix the problem areas. I shouldn't see where your hair and weave meet.  And, please make sure that I can’t see your natural naps ‘cause believe me, if the two hair textures are not a good match, there’s just no way that’s gonna look anything but mangy and nasty. 

The mess on your head is distracting.  I can't help but stare at you--for the wrong reasons.  And yes, your "oh, no she didn't" weave will become dinner conversation.

Hair Club

Janet Jackson has a new look -- very close cropped hair.  And it’s news.  Celeb watchers everywhere are feverishly asking each other -- why??  Most posts I’ve seen on the topic begin with an outraged “OMG!”

Here we go again -- the age old discussions about hair and women’s identity.  Janet removed the extensions and went natural.  She has (for now) shunned the flowing shoulder length locks that we associate with her.  Does she feel naked or free? 

Janet has a face that the camera loves and she’s rocking her natural hair.  She looked great in the photos that I saw.  This look has been embraced by many sistas for decades and has been carried off with ample attitude and tremendous style.

A pixie cap of curls, kinks, waves.  Yes, the crop is a bold move, but showing the world how much you love your hair is a sign of confidence.  And confidence is sexy.  Go, Janet!

A Hair Raising Tale

Last week a friend said to me, “women should not be slaves to their hair.” I couldn’t agree more. She recently changed her style from a head of carefree bronze-colored twists to a neatly constructed updo. She looks great in both styles, but she prefers the low maintenance path.

I was admiring her new ‘do as we chatted with two of her friends. When we segued to the subject of hairstyle vs. workout, she agreed with her friends that on the first day of a fresh ‘do it’s okay to skip the workout. After all, a woman’s gotta have one day of eye-popping gorgeousness! I mentioned women I’ve known who avoid workouts – and forgo the life-changing benefits of improved health – because of “hair issues.” I’ve heard otherwise sensible women complain about lugging hair products and equipment to the gym or on vacation. I know women who will not exert themselves at all for fear of “sweating out their hair.” And others who never let their men see them without their hair done.

I’ve been a hair slave myself. Spent lots of money on perms, blow dryers, setting lotions, mousse, gels, and rollers of every size and color. Used a hot comb while playing James Brown’s “Hot Pants” in the background as I tried to avoid scorching my scalp. Dragged my sick and broken body to the salon for a touch-up when I should have been in bed under a doctor’s care. It was a lot of effort for perfection – perfectly straight, perfectly coiffed hair.

Eventually I got tired of bad hair days. In 1997 I went to a local barbershop to have it shorn. Made it too short for an Afro but still completely natural. Tossed out the products, appliances and accessories. And, guess what? I’ve never felt better or sexier. I don’t worry about rain, humidity, wind or sweat. Many say that it was a bold move and often end with the statement, “I wish I could wear my hair like that.” It does take a lot of nerve – it was three years for me from decision to action. But now I can workout like a warrior princess, run outdoors in a spring shower, spend the day at the beach, or make love until dawn without a care.

Is this a political statement? Maybe, but it’s personal politics. Freeing myself from an expensive, time consuming ritual. Finding a stronger sense of femininity than that proscribed by tradition and popular culture. Redefining beauty. Creating a new self.

So now I swing my earrings instead of my hair -- they don’t mind the rain, either. And much love to my wonderful barber, Charlie Jones, who keeps me looking sharp.