That 80s Show

Young designers seem to be infatuated with everything 80s, but have we forgotten how much bad fashion there was? Remember the linebacker shoulder pads (HUT! HUT!), neon-colored makeup, front pleated jeans? Do you really want to wear that stuff again? Didn’t we see enough bare shoulders inspired by Flashdance (although we couldn’t leap as high as Jennifer Beals’s prancing dance double); sequined biker jackets inspired by Michael Jackson; underwear as outerwear; and the Dandy looks sported by Prince during his purple reign?

Did you have an asymmetrical haircut, Jeri Curl or frizzy perm? An asymmetrical Jeri Curl? Crimped hair? Bigger hair than the Afros of the 70s? Do you want to wear those hairstyles again? How many curl-activated-soaked collars are you willing to tolerate?

I tried to stick to time-tested pieces during the Reagan era: straight-legged Lee jeans with gem colored blouses or men’s white dress shirts, t-shirts that trumpeted my favorite radio station or rock group. Knit dresses. Levis jean jackets. White Keds. Sweatshirts with short skirts and tights in primary colors. However, I did give in to tight purple jeans, bright red high tops, skinny ties and leggings as trousers. LOVED leggings – still do. I don’t wear them as trousers now; they are layered under a tunic or floaty dress.

There were a few other bright spots – the oversized thrift store tweed jackets and coats that I wore with a Denise Huxtable attitude over baggy layers. In addition to the tweeds I also wore a Ricky Ricardo style black tuxedo jacket in over-air-conditioned offices.

Although I watched Miami Vice religiously, I could not take pastel tuxedos seriously. I went to lots of weddings in the 80s that featured groomsmen in lavender penguin suits – some with no socks. Sucked the elegance right out of the event.

And Dynasty suits! I couldn’t figure out which was worse – scores of corporate women dressed in conservative navy blue suits and blouses with bows around their necks or receptionists in full out Alexis Carrington regalia. Did you wear a melon-colored suit with avenue sized shoulder pads to your first office job?

Here’s my advice: if you were in high school, college, or the workplace in the 1980s, step away from the herd. We wore it once -- often disastrously. Let those who wore born in the 1980s and 1990s raid our closets and Goodwill for authentic acid-washed jeans, Members Only jackets, and Flava Flav clock medallions. The rest of us should stick to the classics.

Image of Madonna courtesy of PicApp.